If a person judges somebody he is willingly allowing himself to defame others and hurt them. If we know the reasons behind judging others, we will be able to find solutions to the problem.
- Train yourself to honor and love people in their presence as well as in their absence – if you have a good word say it, but otherwise keep silent. Be very careful not to criticise or analyse anyone, especially when you are not in a position to do so.
- Train yourself to speak only about the virtues of others as far as possible – concentrate on the good points in the lives of the others and neglect the weak points
- Find a solution for leisure – a working man does not have enough time to sit and talk with his neighbours about the faults of others. Substantial and useful subjects should occupy their leisure. How leisure is spent is extremely important.
- Avoid listening to judgments – try as far as you can, not to hear what is said about the faults of others, and even if you do hear do not believe all that is said! It may be completely untrue, and even if it is true is it really your business?
- Pray for the judged person that God may cover his sins – ask God for mercy in a positive way rather than in arrogance or despising.
- Remember that on the last Day of Judgment God will judge you for your own sins, and not for the sins of the others.
- Judge yourself and realise your wickedness – the humble considers all people better than himself. Remember “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone” (Jn 8:7), and how the scribes and Pharisees dropped the stones when they realised that they were just as sinful as the adulterous woman.
- Try to overcome judging others by love – as far as possible restore old love and positive relationships between people.
- Remember that judging others causes harm to you as well the person you judge
- Train yourself not to think evil of people, or judge rashly – examine the matter slowly, objectively and openly. Maintain innocence and compassion on the person.
- Train yourself to tolerate those who offend you – we do not live a ideal world and when, not if, you receive offense disregard the fault as if it didn’t happen and move on with your life without judging.
- Be very careful if you judge – God is the ultimate judge and to be safe and careful, leave the judgment for Him. Do not let judging others be a nature in you, but rather have minimal passing judgment.
From: Judge Not Others
By: HH Pope Shenouda III